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April 24, 2001
Up until now, Tommy has been fine, the medications have been working great. He seems to be a little irritable, which is expected, considering the amount of medications he is on, there are always side affects which irritability is one!
Today we went for another EEG, Doc said there was a little Paroxysmal in it, which isn't a problem, to him I guess. To me on the other hand is a problem. Why couldn't he had have nothing in the EEG and just normal.
The medication has to be pushed up, the frizium. The doctor says he wants Tommy off the Dilantin, to keep him on only one medication. This part scares me. We have to decrease the dose of Dilantin slowly and increase the Frizium right away, which will make him a bit more drowsy. May cause seizures he said. Oh Gosh! Tommy hasn't had a seizure since February 24. Why start it all up again, but I guess one medication is better. Less on the little fellows body!
We are moving shortly to get out of this place, to many bad memories and plus we need the carpet factor so a small two bedroom place with carpet will suffice. If it will be safer then why not! We will save a bit of money also, and maybe get out of this rut we are in!
When I was growing up, we were always boating and had a lot of contact with water. My father had his boat, which he cherished big time. So us kids (there were three of us) had lots of experience and closeness with water. As we were driving home from the hospital, going over the bridge, I was looking down and it was kind of windy. Made the water ruff a bit. I keep staring at the rippling of the water and remembered, how simple life was, when I was a kid I use to look at the ripples and drift off to a dream land, enjoying the peacefulness of the sounds the ripples made, thinking of my future as a young girl, dreaming up my fantasy's and how my life would be. So peaceful, with happy thoughts. As we drove over that bridge I looked down to the water and saw the same ripples and cried inside wishing to be so simple again. Asking God, what happened to the simplicity of them ripples and why this happened to me. I prayed to him asking for forgiveness of all that I have done during that transformation of childhood to adulthood. Praying My Child would be safe and able to see the same simplicity that I seen, so long ago.
I didn't start the knew dosage right away. I will wait till school is out! So Tommy can finish his Pre-K with no seizures, and we will deal with the knew dosage when he is safe at home and in our presents 24 hours a day. I think that is best.